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Draco/Hermione- Go Away Chapter 1

Title: Go Away- Chapter 1
Author: blacksouledbutterfly (me)
Rating: Mature
Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Summary: The war has spilled forth to the muggle world, the lines have been blurred and a love forbidden shall melt apart the lines of good and evil if it doesn't destroy them first.

The taste of his name was acid on the tip of her tongue. It ate away at her insides, the feeling a blinding pain. Tears would spring to her eyes, her throat would dry up, her stomach would knot up; it was like her head was splitting open. Still somehow she couldn't help herself; she always had to say his name, kiss his mouth.

Being with him was like dying inside, slowly, painfully. Being away from him was like being torn limb from limb. Everything about being with him was painful, but being without him was just as horrible.

She sat silently, watching him breathe from across the room. On one side the moonlight played across his hair making it shine like silver, on the other is glowed orange from the flames in the fireplace. His chest rose and fell in a rhythmic way. The simple act of him breathing fascinated her. It was one of the few things that had been able to calm her since she had first come to live at the Manor.

Outside a loud noise sounded. She jumped out of her seat, hand flying to her chest. She sighed, trying to tame the beating of her heart. On the bed Draco stirred, shifting slightly. He reached up and rubbed his face with one hand, pushing strands of his hair out of his face. "What was that?"

She frowned at him. "I don't know."

He sat up, the silky green sheets on the bed sliding off of his bare chest. "You don't know?"

"Probably a spell."

"Hmm." His eyes seemed aglow like they had all those months ago. All those painful months ago.


Hermione huddled in the corner of her house. The war in the wizarding world had spilled out into the streets of the muggle world. Outside houses lit up the sky with a violent orange as flames engulfed them. She could hear the screams of her neighbors.


She glanced towards her parents. "Stay quiet," she told them. "Go down the hall. Stay in your room until it's over."


"Go. You can't handle this. I can. Please, go."

The door burst open. Hermione huddled as close to the ground as she could. Three figures made their way into the house, black hoods over their heads. She took a deep breath. 'This can't be happening,' was all she could think. This had to be a horrible nightmare. When she woke up everything would be fine. The war would not have invaded her town, her own home. She would wake up in the morning in her own bed with her parents in the kitchen watching the news and discussing a football game. They would not be watching this happen.

She must have attracted their attention somehow because one of them turned to look towards her in the dark. She took a deep breath and held it as he continued to look at her. She couldn't make out his face in the dark but she knew he saw her kneeling there in the dark.

The figure turned back to the other Deatheaters and made a hasty motion to them. They hesitated, looking back and forth between each other before exiting the building, leaving only the one who had seen her standing there.

The cloaked figure turned, wand in hand. Hermione's hand itched. She wished she hadn't left her wand upstairs. If she hadn't than she may have been able to protect herself. As it were, without her wand there was nothing she could do except close her eyes tightly and biting down on her bottom lip. She could taste the copper of her own blood. She knew what was coming and she would rather not watch it happen.

"Avada Kedavra!"

She held her breathe preparing to take her last breath, the feel a rush of pain as the spell hit her-but she felt nothing.

She slowly opened her eyes to see the wand wasn't pointed at her, but the figure had his wand pointed across the room. The wand was pointed towards her parents and her parents weren't moving.

Ignoring the potential danger she crawled towards her parents. "Mum! Dad!" She reached out towards them, trying to grab onto them but for some reason her hands seemed to be too weak and they were shaking. She laid her hand down quickly on her mother's arm only to find the skin cold to the touch. She pulled her hand back feeling sick to her stomach. "Mum!" Her vision blurred, her throat burned, and she leaned over away from them heaving. She bile burned but her eyes burned with tears more. "Mum!" She turned back to them feeling weak. She pressed her face against her mother's cold arm. "Mum! Please wake up Mum! Please! You can't leave me Mum! I need you. Please!"

"Get up!"

Hermione froze at the sound of that voice. She knew that voice. She lifted her head slowly to glance at the Deatheater. One pale hand was held out towards her, palm up. Her gaze traveled up to his pale face and blonde hair. Malfoy. "No! No!" She buried her face against her mother's arm again. "Kill me too! I can't do this! Just kill me too!"

His hand grabbed her arm. "Granger, get up."

"No, just kill me now!"

He hoisted her up harshly. She stumbled over her own feet. He wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her from falling. He grabbed her face and pulled it towards him, turning him to face her. "Listen to me Granger, I spared your life. If you don't come with me now the others won't be so kind and you really will die."

She stood there for a moment just looking at him before she broke down again. "Let me go! I don't care if I die! I wish I was dead!"

His grip on her tightened so it was almost painful. "No, Granger, you don't. Get it together." He grabbed her face harshly with one hand. "Listen to me you stupid little mudblood, I will not let you throw what I did for you away by siting here crying over living. If you snivel one more time I swear I will break every finger in your hands so you have something to cry about."


He had brought her to the Malfoy Manor after that, telling her that she would be safe there. His mother hardly noticed when other people were there and his father was never there anymore, always out fighting for Voldermort.

She watched him slide out of the bed and make his way across the room. "Who do you suppose cast the spell?" Draco asked her.

"Deatheaters probably," she told him.


Hermione sat in the room Malfoy had put her in, legs pulled up to her chest. When he had first brought her there he made her shower and gave her an old sweater of his to wear. Since then she had merely sat on the bed. Sometimes she would start to cry out of the blue thinking about the way her parents had been killed by the man she was now staying with. Most of the time she would just lie there, the olive green sweater he gave her scratching her cheek, her feet encased in a pair of old socks.

Malfoy would come in to visit her, bring her food, but since she had gotten there three days before she would not eat. She would only sleep, cry or stare off into space.

Malfoy had been in the room earlier that day, bringing her a tray of food. He placed it on the desk near by and sat there for a while looking at her before announcing that he had to go speak to her mother. That was three hours ago and she hadn't moved from the spot she was in.

The door creaked open. Hermione looked up through her hair and watched as Draco came in. He closed the door behind her with a click, locking it like he always did. He glanced around the room before his gaze landed on her untouched food. His face hardened with what looked like...disappointment? "Granger, I am sure you are aware that if you do not eat you will die."

Hermione merely watched him make his way across the room. He pulled the chair away from the desk and placed it next to her bed. He sat there watching her. "What's the matter, Granger? Cat got your tongue?" She blinked at him. "You are aware that I told you I will not just let you die, are you not? So why do you bother not eating?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. She cleared her throat loudly but found that all it did was make her throat hurt even more. "Not...hungry," she croaked out.

"I don't believe that for one moment, Granger," he told her. "You are just far too stubborn to eat." He gave her one of those infuriating Malfoy smirks. "The problem with that is that if you do not eat I will have to force you to."

Hermione pulled herself further away from him, sliding towards the end of the bed. His hand reached out to grasp her arm. "Don't even think about it, Granger. I will not let you waste your life away."

"Just leave me alone," she begged.

Malfoy leaned over her. "I most certainly will not allow you to kill yourself. If you do that than me saving your life will have been in vain and I will not allow that."

Hermione closed her eyes and thought back to when her friend and neighbor Helena would go to local classes at the neighborhood self-defense center. She never took it serious of course, neither of them did. Her chest felt tight at the thought of Helena-Helena who was now dead, just like her parents. She thought hard, pressing two fingers together. She sprung them forward, attempting to ram them into his throat.

Malfoy saw the movement at the last second and grabbed her wrist in a painful grip. Hermione let out a yelp of pain as he wrenched her arms over her head. He leaned over her. "Nice try, Granger. Now you listen to me and listen good. I refuse to let you kill yourself."

She wanted to spit in his face but she figured with the position she was it would do more harm than good. "What do you care, Malfoy? What do you care if I die?"

"I do care, Granger. Now you listen to me, you are not going to starve yourself to death, do you understand me?"

Hermione stared into his eyes. They were aflame with anger and something else...worry? No, it couldn't be worry. Why would he worry about her? "It would be better for everyone if you just killed me, Malfoy."

"I won't do that Granger." He gazed down at the girl beneath him, watched the tears forming in her eyes. "Don't you dare cry, Granger. It's not as though I'm raping you. I am just trying to stop you from hitting me again."

"Why shouldn't I cry, Malfoy? You killed my parents!"

"If I hadn't sent the others away they would have killed you and them! It is better this way!"

"No, it's not! My friends, my family, everyone I care about, they are all dead!" She felt the tears start to flow down her cheeks. "They are all dead! I'm all alone!"

Draco watched her for a moment as she cried before he pressed his lips to hers, hard and viscous. The kiss was bruising in intensity. When he pulled away she had stopped crying to glare at him. "You are not alone, Granger."

"Why?" Her voice was practically shrill. "Why did you save me?"

"You honestly don't know, Granger?"

"Know what?"

He sighed. "Granger, for all your book smarts you really aren't all that bright." He shook his head sadly as he released her wrists. "I am in love with you."

She lay there frozen for a moment staring at him before she balled her hands into fists and beat them into his chest. "Don't you dare do this to me, Malfoy! Don't you lie to me when I am already in so much pain!"

He let her beat his chest. "I'm not lying to you, Granger. You are the only one worthy of my time. You are the only one who I ever respected as an advisory. Do you really think I picked on you merely because you were friends with Potter? Honestly Granger, you are smarter than that."

"I hate you!" Her actions however contradicted that. She wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest. "Why does this have to be so horrible? Why does everyone have to die? Why did this have to happen? Why do I have to love you?"

Draco tensed for a moment. He was never good with handling crying girls. They actually had the tendency to make him get suddenly tense, but he eased his arms around her. "I don't know....Hermione." Her name felt so foreign rolling off his tongue. It was almost as though he wasn't supposed to say it, but he felt he had to. "Things aren't supposed to be easy. If they were than life wouldn't be life at all." He tilted her head back so he was looking at her. "If I could make life better for you I would."

She glanced up at him. How could she love the guy that had killed her parents? "Why did you have to kill them?" she choked out. "Why?"

He sighed. "I...I didn't want to kill them. I had to. They were going to kill them and you. They wanted to but I couldn't...I couldn't watch them kill you, and if I hadn't killed them they would have known that I...that I was in love with you. It would be too dangerous for you and I if that were to happen."

He tilted her chin up further and leaned over to meet her lips. "I am sorry Hermione." She wrapped her arms around his neck though, kissing him deeper.


They had made love that night. She had been ashamed later that she could do that with someone who killed her parents, but in truth she did love him with all of her heart.

She watched as he slid his shirt over his head, watched the muscles in his back move. "I should go check out what's going on."

She was barely listening. "Hmm."


"Please, Draco, come with me!"

He threw his hands up in the air. "I can't do that Hermione!"

"But they will believe me. Draco, you can be safe there. They can protect you." She reached out to grab his arm. "Don't you understand, Draco? We can be together! Nothing will stop us!"

"I cannot and will not betray my parents!"

She sighed sadly. "Then...then I don't know how much longer I can stay here."

He grabbed her shoulders. "You want to leave me?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, Draco, I don't want to leave you." She pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around him. "I just don't know what will happen to us."


Hermione felt the weight of her wand in her hand. It was a heavy burden to hold. She gazed at the man she loved and the man who killed her, who ripped her apart inside. She slowly raised her wand and pointed it at his back.

Draco's eyes skipped up in the mirror. They landed on Hermione's wand and in an instant he reached out and grabbed her arm. "What are you doing Hermione?"

She felt herself grow weak as her legs gave out beneath her. She fell to the ground. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She watched him kneel down in front of her. "I am so sorry. I just...I'm so scared right now."

She felt him wrap his arms around her. "I know, Hermione. But I promise you everything will be all right. I won't let anything happen to you. You are my love. My conscious."

She tensed. "Draco, I can't be your conscious. I can't be that voice inside your head that tells you what is right and what is wrong. You need to do that yourself."

Outside another spell was cast followed by another explosion. They both knew that they had to move, but they just sat there listening to the battle.
Tags: draco, draco/hermione, go away, harry potter, hermione, hermione/draco, hp
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