Title: I Love Your Dark
Theme(s): #11- Books (~never really mine)
Pairing/Characters: Vincent Valentine/Yuffie Kisaragi
Summary (if needed): When you are willing to surrender to love the pain of losing it becomes almost too much to take.
I knew I was fooling myself but I didn’t really care. You never really belonged to me, you always belonged to another. I wanted to be there with you, I wanted to stay by your side. Couldn’t you see I had always loved you? From the time I was a stupid teenage girl following you all I loved you. I tried to deny it, tried to fight it, but somehow you always managed to get the truth from me. How could you always see right through me?
Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you? Was it too long ago for you to picture in your mind? I was so young and fragile then, clinging on to your ever word as though it were law because you were older and smarter than I was. So much stronger, so much more beautiful.
I accepted every part of you, the good and the bad, the painful and the hopeful. I would hold you close when your pain became too much, would kiss you soundly and beg that for one moment that your pain would end, and I made myself believe it did, but it never did, not once, not for one moment. You were still that haunted presence by my side trying to tell me I shouldn’t care for you. How was I to know that you were telling me that for my own good? That you were protecting me from the pain you would end up causing me?
Maybe I am still that foolish girl who thinks that one person can make a difference in another person’s life. Did I make a difference in yours? Will you take anything away from this that will help you in the end, or was I just a distraction from your pain for a while? Are you trying to help me by hurting me? Because if that is what you are doing then damn it you don’t get it at all. This pain, this burning ache in my chest hurts me more than anything else you could ever do. I would prefer death to this pain, because living like this is a living death. It rips me apart inside, kills the will to love and live.
I just wanted you, all of you, the darkness and the light. You’re such a beautiful man with your short answers and the way your lips twitch when you are fighting a smile. I would give up eternity just to stay in your graces. I would give up salvation to stay by your side, to rest my head against your chest again at night, to press my lips to your. I love your dark, I love everything about you. I want to chase away your pain, chase away your pain, and every time you start to give into your darkness don’t you see I am still here, the calming voice that tells you that you are still beautiful, that you are still loved.
So why is this all falling apart? Why is this scattering to the wind? Why does it have to end this way? Why are you walking away?
I call out you, reach out to you and beg you to stay.
But you resist my words, ignore my tears. You give me your version of a smile, stroke my hair and tell me this is what is best, this is what must be. You ignore my pleas, pretend you don’t hear my words. I may be the dullest woman you have never known, you never met someone as pathetic at me, but I need you desperately. I always have.
I always will.